Friday, January 18, 2013

I Didn't Have The Heart To Tell Y'all

But another one of my goat kids died. And she died the day after Pippin did.

This time it was a little harder to deal with since I had just lost Pippin in the previous 24 hours, and since this time it was my prize doeling.

Goat Song's Duet is dead. 

The nighttime temperatures dropped to the low 30's and as usual all the goats nestled together in one huddle. They do this often; it keeps them warm, and they actually generate a fair amount of heat from doing it. The next morning though, as I scanned the big group of goats, I saw to my horror that one of the senior does was laying on top of a kid. I panicked and shoved the unsuspecting doe over to see what on earth was going on. Beneath the big body of the senior doe was Duet's crushed body. She had been smothered and then laid on during the night. 

My mind was reeling as I picked up the warm, but stiff carcass of my pretty girl. Of all the goats to lose, why did it have to be Duet!? She was the result of a carefully planned breeding that I could never duplicate. I sold Duet's mother, Ivy, and her sire was from WA. I sold her brother Chad Gadya since I had her. Sold Ivy because I had her. She was everything I wanted from that breeding... She had the conformation, style, stellar pedigree, and almost 3,000 lbs. of milk behind her. And now she's dead.

I didn't tell anyone about her death for quite some time. Couldn't bear to think about it. On Wednesday night I shared about it on Facebook. And now I'm sharing it here. I figured y'all should know too. 

Goat Song's Duet (on right). August 2nd, 2012. Three weeks of age.

RIP Duet... I had such high hopes for you.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm sorry Caitlyn. God's will is hard to understand sometimes. I wana give you a hug.
Tasha

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry. How heart breaking!

gz said...

so sad and frustrating. Hope you all come through the rest of Winter ok
xx

wildramp said...

To lose any animal is hard...to lose one that was produced with such planning and purpose is horrendous. So sad. And now, on to practical matters......what can you possibly do to help them be warm so no other little ones get inadvertently squished in the future?

Illinois Lori said...

Oh, Caitlyn...dearest...I'm so sorry this happened! Farming is one profession where life and death are brought before our eyes in stark relief. There is preciousness and hope in new life, and sadness in death, especially when it comes too soon. My ONLY advice to you would be to simply allow yourself to feel the sadness and at the same time, ponder the heart of your heavenly Father, as He watched His Son, whom He loved, had carefully picked the earthly mother and adoptive father for, planned for, and WAY more than that...as he gave that precious Son over to death so that you and I might live with Him forever. Every experience we have on this earth is a picture for us, a way that we can know God's heart, if only we have eyes to see it. I'm so sorry for this loss of this precious goat kid...I'll be praying for your sweet young heart to heal, and for you to discover something from it that will make you and your work even better going forward. You are such a dear one!

{{{HUGS}}},
Lori

Krista M.V. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sweet Life Garden said...

Thank you for sharing with us. I am so sorry for your loss, what a beautiful goat! Our thoughts are with you. ~ Jill

Hannah said...

Praying for you, Caitie!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, Caity! I'm so sad for you. Reading this post, I just wanted to cry. :( I know how hard it is to lose animals you love, especially one so fine. I'll be praying for you. ((hug!))

~Krista M.V.